What a clusterfuck I’ve made of my life. I am starving. No clarity of mind brought on by not eating. No samadhi. No enlightening smiles. I still have another week to go before I can eat a proper sandwich. Now that I have people after me I’ve got to shelter in place for another seven days of misery. I really do hate myself. So hungry and miserable and in debt and no end in sight. Argh. Fuck. Mercy!