I don’t think the internet is going to crumble for want of political digression, but I do find it troubling that A) Donald Trump is the candidate of a major political party and B) the other choice is Hillary Clinton. My question is this: can’t the corpse of that crack smoking mayor from Canada be raised, reanimated, and somehow made a candidate just so the people have a decent choice in 2016? If not him, perhaps the late Lou Pearlman, convicted felon and boy band empresario might have already worn out his welcome in hell and we can make some kind of deal with the devil?

Here in Mexico, the president, oft referred to by his initials, EPN, has been accused of stealing 30% of his law degree thesis from another source. There is no school until further notice for the kids here in Oaxaca as the teachers are too busy blocking the highways to be bothered to teach and have threatened bodily hard to any teachers who break their strike…a friend of mine, Enrique, has gone missing and is presumably in a vat of acid. But, life goes forward. For most of us.

I never found crack to be that great, though it did leave me with the feeling that I just needed to try a bit more of it RIGHT NOW just to make sure I wasn’t missing some kind of mad euphoria. Harvey’s house was a defacto crack house. He was a friend of mine, maybe in his late 40s who was looking at returning  to prison for a few years so he didn’t really care. He had little stake in society though he had a very successful sister. I think she was a lawyer. His front door opened right onto the staircase and there was a 2 by 4 set against the back of the stairs and the front door so nobody, even a police department with a siege engine and battering ram could get in. They had tried. His front door, which was metal and about three inches thick, had been dented by just such an attempt, giving the people upstairs and inside smoking crack enough time to get out of the apartment through the back door. Of course the cops knew there was a back door. I believe it was public housing so the Richmond city cops weren’t after arresting users so much as making sure the people who sold their product were paying the right amount of tribute. There was a guy who had two microwaves in the back of his car hooked up to an alternate battery. He used them to cook while he was driving and he’d park in a notorious area, basically, an open air crack market and he”d make about a thousand dollars in an hour or two of selling, then he’d hurry off to the bank so he didn’t have the money on him. He had a regular 9 to 5 job as part of his parole. I think he was a salesman. The entire company was bullshit and allowed him to declare his drug money as profits from selling whatever it was, maybe car port siding or whatever. The entire company was a front, like the automatic car wash where you used to be able to buy drugs while your car was in the middle of being cleaned. It was hard for the cops to figure out what was going on as transactions took place in the torrent of those large rolling car roller washer things. They got caught because they were the best performing car wash in the world, I believe. They reported making millions of dollars a year. Most car washes didn’t perform so well.

I have known a lot of criminals in my life. I wonder who the worst was? I remember a kid named Byron in elementary school. My friend Aaron and I made fun of him while we played flag football in elementary school. Byron was convicted of killing a couple people and tried as an adult when he was just 12 or 13 I think. He’s trying to get a new trial still because he says he was promised a chance at parole of he plead guilty. Something like that. The crack epidemic was scary. I had friends and knew people who were 12 and 13 who were runners. They handled the drugs for the dealers. If they got busted they didn’t roll on anybody and the worst they could get was a trip to juvenile hall. They showed up at the mall with wads of money. I was interested in getting involved as I needed a job. But I was a white kid so no go. I remember when I asked where Timmy D. got his Kool Moe Dee shirt. It had a picture of KMD and said “WILD WILD WEST.” I thought it was cool. Or kool. He said “It fell off a truck.”It was the first time I had heard somebody use that phrase. I initially thought, oh, I guess that happens when you don’t secure the load well enough… wait!

Lots of stuff fell off trucks. I was involved in another money making scheme that made quite a bit of money but I won’t go into it now.